Max for Hire

Attention slackers: Haven't decorated for Christmas? Well Max is you guy....he is now available for a small fee. He specializes in ribbons and tape, but is willing to branch out depending on your tastes and decor. Here are a couple pics of the outstanding work that Max does. Also, he can make a mean batch of brownies or cookies if you are behind on Christmas baking. This guy is versatile.

Assumptions

Keep in mind that I am just assuming these things......

But you all know what assumptions can make out you and I right? So please, correct me if I'm wrong.

Why I want a baby girl:

I'm pretty sure when she is potty trained, she won't pee on the toilet seat and onto the floor. Then to make matters worse, she definitely won't use her Mom's make-up brush to "mop" up the mess. (again, just assuming)

I'm also just about positive that this little angel will not be angry with me if I think the cartoon star wars clone wars is totally lame. She will also not throw a tantrum if I will not let her rent it at blockbuster after she has seen it a dozen times.

One last thing, uh er assumption....if I have a girl, eventually there will be more than one person in the house that looks like their hair has been combed in the last 48 hours. Not saying she will be willing, I just won't let a girl look as scraggly as I let my boys do.

On the other hand......

Why I want to have another boy:

ummmm, still thinking.

Just kidding, if I did have another boy, it would be a piece of cake. (just assuming)

I would already know all the silly little tricks like to push his bits and pieces down while changing diapers if I don't want to get an April shower.

I would also know that I would spend about 90% less on baby clothes. (this one is not an assumption but true and honest fact.) Have you been gymboree lately and checked the girl to boy ratio of clothing? 10 to 1 people, 10 to 1

One more thing, I would also (john willing) be able to fulfill Jackson's lifelong dream of having a brother named Luke Skywalker. Who could pass that up?

I guess it's a wash. Either way I'm just hoping for one that is healthy and happy. Oh, and one that loves their Mom like my boys do. (assuming, yet again)

The million $$$ Question:

What everyone wants to know when the topic of Max and his hearing loss and recent hearing aids is: "Do you notice a difference, is he talking/understanding better?" My answer is always yes, absolutely. He is doing great, making big strides and actually listening when I tell him not to punch his brother in the face again. However, almost on a daily basis he throws out a gem of a one liner that leaves me questioning. Does this kid get it? Here is just one sample of things I hear on a daily basis.

Max and I are enjoying some alone time together while Jackson is out sledding. This is the part where I have to admit something. No, I am not being a good mom making cookies with my boy, I was just trying to get out of going out in the bitter 4 degree weather to go sledding with him. I let Jack go out on his own, he is old enough. Max on the other hand, well if he goes, I go. Thus the cookie making bribe. OK, so back to the point of this post....here we are making cookies and Max starts grabbing knifes and flinging them on the counter. I immediately start in on how little boys can not touch knifes. He then replies: "Only Mommy and Daddy can play with knifes?" I answer back: "Well no one is aloud to play with knifes but yes, adults can use them to cut things up." Now this is the questionable statement: "Why Mom, will the hot lava burn you?" Then I think to myself, are we having the same conversation, does this boy comprehend anything?? OK, I know a little bit dramatic but seriously this happens every day! Then I proceed to tell him: "No Max, I will not get burned by lava, the knife might cut me and I will bleed." The best part is he then repeats my sentence in a questioning tone: "the knife will cut you and you will bleed?" As if this is a totally new concept to him.

So yes, he is listening better.....understanding, well that's questionable at this point!!

We had a hilariously funny holiday TACKY party last night. Thanks everyone for coming, we had a blast. With tacky in mind, the pic below was our table centerpiece. And yes, it is real. Well...not the pee.

"Uhh Mom, Christmas fell down!"

This is what Max came to the basement to declare to John and I last night. Now, having listened to the language known as "Max speak" for the last four years, I immediately knew that our enormous Christmas tree had fallen down! The whole family rushed upstairs to find our freshly cut from the woods 12 foot tree smooshed on the living room floor. To make matters worse, there were broken glass bulbs scattered around and a wet floor to top it off. John had to rush over to Menards to find a bigger tree stand that could handle this big boy. It went back up pretty easy, but a ton of my ornaments have been ruined. :0( What a great way to start off the holiday season! I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of winter as much as we are! Happy Holidays woo woo!

Don't judge a book by the cover

Unless it is the book Series Twilight. So I was over at a friends house today and overheard yet another conversation that I seem to hear/see all too often lately. Everyone around me is obsessed with Twilight. There have been themed parties and fondant cakes made around this book for heavens sake! I see blogs that have a countdown to the movie, like it is a new baby about to arrive. I even had someone tell me that the night it comes out it is her 5 yr. anniversary and she has convinced her hubby to go see it because it is that important. The thing is, I just don't get it....it's about teenage vampires people! So I was hoping for a few people to shed some light on the subject. Tell me what the draw is. And I need specifics, not just "oh the books are just sooooo good" answers. What draws everyone and their dog to the point of obsession over this series? Any info would be greatly appreciated and I promise not to judge. (too hard) Also, if I get enough good answers, I just might pick up the book and give it a try. No promises though!

cute + complicated = Maxers

Max is such a mystery to me. I don't think I will ever have him figured out. I can read Jackson like Run Dog Run. Not Max, he is full of unexplained surprises around every turn. Lets just say he is totally off the wall. Here are a few examples. Keep in mind, this all happened before noon today.

1. Take a look at the picture above. Lets just say Max dressed himself for a snowstorm at church. The only problem....it is Friday.



2. Max continues to decorate the house at his eye level. He even used a pencil and a level for this project.




3. If the eye level decorating wasn't enough, tape is his new best friend. He now feels the need to tape little objects in various places as he sees fit.





4. Do I even need to explain this one? How on earth can this be comfortable. He is one step away from a baby thong. I must admit this picture was not taken this morning. I did check however for blogging accuracy and he is in fact wearing the undies backwards yet again.

5. I wasn't going to capture this moment on film but it is still funny. Max walked out of the bathroom and informed me that he was my big helper by wiping his own bum. huh? Ok, I guess I get this one a little. Less dirty work for me = being my helper.

6. He found a lady bug in the kitchen and was uber excited. He then proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs for me to be quiet because his lady bug was sleeping.

7. A few weeks ago John took Max on what we at the Parrish house like to refer to as a "man meeting." It is pretty much equivalent to a daddy daughter date for boys. Apparently Max had so much fun that he has been hitting me up to take him on a man meeting. I tried to explain what it is and why I can't take him but he didn't get it. ***here is a warning for those with sensitive eyes/ears, skip these last couple sentences. **** I kept telling him only boys can go and that I am not one due to certain bodily parts that I am missing. He finally said oh, you have a "jine - ee" (phonetically spelled of course) Ok Mom, you can't go.

So there you have it. A half day full of weird Maxer moments for your viewing pleasure. I'm the lucky one though, I get to see these kind of shenanigans all day every day!

On a lighter note....

Not that airing our dirty laundry wasn't fun and all, but I think it's time to move on! This weekend we were all sitting in the kitchen and I looked in our backyard and see these bad boys strolling through! This isn't the best picture, but still cool! There were 11 turkeys walking right on by. I thought it dumb of them to show their faces in pubic this close to Thanksgiving. I guess I don't even know what a martial art is so what do I know! Anyways, I like Jackson's plan after he learned that we do not own a gun and couldn't shoot one down. I quote - "I know, I will throw this lego ship outside, then one of the turkeys will try to eat it and it will choke and die so we can have a turkey for Thanksgiving!" Now why didn't I think of that? He is too funny!

Is it just me......

So there have been a few things lately that John and I have well, disagreed on. I also want to say that I am open to being wrong, and willing to listen to others opinions. With that said I am asking for yours on a few things. It might seem silly, but I would really like to know if I am being dumb here.

#1 - Look at the picture above. This sweet little thing came home the other day with a Martial Arts book. He has been practicing kung foo poses and moves ever since. Jack wants to get into a martial art. Johns said ok, you can do wrestling again because it is the best martial art. (by the way he did it last year and it wasn't quite his cup of tea) Tell me if I'm crazy but I never considered wresting a martial art. Seriously, what wrestler gets to work on sweet poses like the one he is working on?! You should see his running kick...super sweet! So I guess my question is, how can you say no to a kid like this and try to throw him in silly tights again?

#2- Take a look at this nasty ankle sprain. Notice the detail in the swelling/bruising right up to the toes. Now tell me if you think anyone should be playing football on this thing. (obviously not pro's, they can do what they want because they get millions and dr's who administer cortizone shots to play injured) So I am being a lame wife telling John he shouldn't play on it?

Minnehaha Falls....and more

Knowing that John was going on a business trip on Sunday, we decided to have a family fun day. Did I mention that John's "business trip" involved a corporate jet and San Diego? I'll gripe about that later! Onto the fun.....
Before the madness began, Jack lost another tooth. It's a good thing it finally came out. It was looking pretty nasty. I started calling him Nanny McPhee because he could stick that tooth out over his lip just like her. Yuck! We also have a very forgetful tooth fairy these days....she hasn't come yet. :0)





Our firs stop was to walk around Minnehaha Falls park. We were crossing a bridge and noticed a totally nervous guy holding three roses and a ring box. Cha-ching! Ok, I have to admit I feel a little guilty waiting around to see this guy sweat bullets all in the name of amusement, but what can you do? So his girlfriend walked down these stairs and he gets down on one knee and proposes right on the spot. It was off the charts adorable. She was crying, the whole works. Jack cheered and whooed for them!



This is my favorite time of year in the frozen tundra. These pictures just don't do the changing leaves justice. Hmmm maybe it's the photographer.



John was pretty proud of this picture. This is an exact reenactment of what happens day in and day out at our house. Kids play, kids fight, mom attaches hand to hip and yells at kids, repeat 20 times.



On our way home from the falls we stopped at Ben and Jerry's for some ice cream. It's right on lake Minetonka...so pretty. The only downfall is that some yuppy (you know the guy, polo shirt, braided belt, khaki shorts, loafers with no socks) decided to have his kids 5th b-day party there and invite 20+ kids. It was a nightmare!! Max was not fazed, he decided to amuse/entertain himself by practicing the time honored technique of canines everywhere.




To finish off this awesome day, we came home and baked up some delicious homemade pizzas. This was the best fall day we've had yet! We miss you John, come home soon. (just not with a tan or you'll be in trouble)

Fun little boy pics...

Nothing eventful happened this week, so I thought I would throw up a few pics of some fun we had this summer/fall. (Now I feel bad saying nothing eventful happened because John and I celebrated our 9th anniversary. I'm not feeling sappy enough to write a **You are the best and I love you because** post right now. Sorry, John!!)

We took our annual trip to Apple Jacks Orchard last weekend. They have the best apple carmel rolls ever! Isn't Jack looking exceptionally tall?


Hey Mom- remember this trip to the dollar store? Max is browsing the toy section and yells excitedly "I want to be a bad guy in a boat!!" Tee Hee Hee

Playing in the water after a short hike. Max ended up getting his pants soaked before we left. We were all hungry and far from home so we stopped at Fudruckers. This loud lady behind us in line walked in and literally gasped and threw out a OMG and talked about how crappy we were for taking him to a restaurant all wet. John wanted to punch her! (Pardon the brief tangent, but since Max has had his hearing aids, the often nasty looks of disdain out in public have now subsided and looks of sympathy/compassion have taken their place. Hmm, who would have known that would be a nice side effect Max's hearing loss)

Above is Max with a couple different frogs he found in our muddy front yard. We just got sod in a couple of days ago. Max wasn't too happy about it. I'm thrilled, no more muddy, dusty prints to clean off the floor!

Big changes for Maxers!!

I took Max to the Audiologist at Children's Hospital and he was fitted for Hearing aids. I've been told on many occasion and by many dr.'s that MOST kids love them instantly and are willing to put up with the funny feeling in their ear to hear better. Did you notice they all said MOST kids? That is always the up or downside to my kids. They are MOST definitely not like MOST kids! A lot of times that is what I love MOST about my two crazy boys....they make life more interesting. Ummmm, not this time! I won't bore you with the details, but lets just say that Max ended up going home with the Hearing Aids attached to the back of his shirt so he won't accidentally "loose" them like he does with a lot of things he does not care for. To make matters worse, somehow I managed to break one of the aids within about a day. OOOPS! It is a good thing they are "loaner" hearing aids. Everything happens for a reason, and this time is especially true. Max ended up with a brand new pair that is digital and somehow better than the ones he had originally. He has had them for about 4 days now and they are growing on him. Both John and I have noticed a HUGE difference!

My Maxers is off to school!

Well this whole thing was pretty anticlimatic! Max wanted to go to school all last week. (jackson started a week ahead) And by wanted I mean he would try to pack up a lunch, get ready and go outside for a bus that is not coming! So Monday rolls around and it is finally Max's turn for school. Knowing Max I should have already known what would happen, but I am frankly not a wizard. Anyways, Max decides he doesn't want to go to school, that his teacher is dead and his school has been broken. (his words) So I drag him outside telling him he will go and like it so help me.....and the bus never shows. I end up taking him and forgot the camera in the car. So no sweet pics of Max on the bus or by his class or whatever. Here is one that he took of himself while waiting for the bus that never came! Hmmm what a fun start to preschool!

A LONG TIME AGO........

IN A MUSEUM FAR FAR AWAY...........Let me just take a quick second to explain to anyone that has not been around Jack for more than 1 minute that he loves all things Star Wars. Now look at the pic above....can you believe the look on Jacks face? OK, so he thought the going to a Star Wars exhibit would mean that he got to take a quick ride in the Millennium Falcon or a cruiser at least. When he got there and realized he was sorely mistaken he was a little less than satisfied. I guess that explains the look. Sorry Jack, all you get is costumes and pictures. Everyone else had fun though! (Including Yoda I am)

Back to School!

Jack looking like a rock star with his star wars
gear and mohawk hair. He gave me instructions
that he did not want his hair to be a "dead givaway"
Go watch meet the Robinsons and you will know
what he was talking about!

John went into work late so he could see Jack
off for the first day!

It's official....Jackson now gets to eat lunch at school! According to Jack, that is the biggest change between kindergarten and first grade. Last year when he left I practically told him not to let the door hit him on the way out. This year was slightly different! I was such a mess. It took me by surprise that I was so sad I was actually contemplating getting a dog to make up for his absence. Silly me, I would need at least 10 dogs to make up for all of Jacks energy and mess! I guess I will just have to get used to the fact that he's growing up faster than I would like. May the Force be with you Jack!!

Mos Def Maxers

So the results are in....Max has hearing loss. We have suspected and been looking into it for about a year. The ENT finally got serious and ordered a BAER test. This is where they put him under while the Audiologist runs a number of tests without noise. This was necessary because he failed traditional ear tests, but it was unclear if it was because he was stubborn/uninterested or he had hearing loss. For this test, they emit sound into the ear and watch how the brain reacts.

You can see from the results above that with 2 ears without background noise Max can hear at a 35 decible level at best (O with an X in the middle). With one ear his hearing is a 60 at worst (individual O's and X's). So if you talk to him in a normal voice, he may not pick it up unless he's looking at you and there is little background noise. This qualifies as a mild to moderate hearing defficiency and will require hearing aids in both ears. This should help with the language/speach delays that he is experiencing. He's been in speach therapy for a year, but results will hopefully improve dramatically with hearing aids.


Since they had to put him under he came home in a drunken stupor. It was pretty funny as he was laughing at everything and couldn't walk more than a few feet.


What's better when you're a drunk 4 year old than a milk shake.

State Fair + Food = CRAZY DELICIOUS!!

Maxers could give Kobaiashi a run for his money. His mouth has 2 modes, stuffed or empty.


Corn Fritters are Jamie's favorite.


Milk, Milk, Lemonade. At the fair fudge is made.


Jackson has more fake teeth made out of fries than real teeth.

We took Nate and Darcy to taste a little bit of Minnesota Flavor at the State Fair. The gluttony was non-stop. Cookies, Milk, Corn Fritters, Fried Cheese Curds, Fries, Brautwurst mit Kraut, Pronto Pups, Kabobs, Burgers and Lemonade. Corn Fritters, Cookies and Curds were the best. Burgers and Kabobs the worst. We like the State Fair, but our digestive system and patience can only handle it once a year!

Way to Go Jack!!!

When summer rolled around we decided to set some goals for Jackson so he wouldn't turn into a couch potato! Jack decided he wanted to learn to swim, ride a two wheel bike, and read 100 books. We told him when he reached his goal, we would buy Lego Indiana Jones. He's been biking and swimming for a while, so he's just been working on the books. Today he decided to crank out eight books so he could get the video game!!! I'm so proud of you Jack. :0)

This post has nothing to do with that old man with grey hair who is still trying to be a quarterback

Apparently I'm not blogger savvy, because I can not figure out how to put these pics in any kind order! I'm just feeling good to get in a post these days, so here you go. Whala....pics of the new homestead. Above is my bathroom. I'm so happy to have some extra room!

This is right when you walk down to the basement. Its about double this size, I just couldn't fit it in the picture. I'm pretty sure it is the one and only time I will consider it clean, so I'm glad it is documented!!


Here is John's absolute favorite part of the house. (it was actually what sealed the deal) It's the theatre room. You have to see and hear it in person to understand its full wonder and glory!!



Pretty self expanitory but I guess I'm in the mood to elaborate. Yes you guessed it, it's the front of the house. The landscaping is going in next week hopefully. And in case you were wondering, no that is not my van, it's John's.



This is the entry way. I love how it is vaulted and open to the back of the house. Super rad some might say.

Next we will move onto the living room adjacent to our kitchen. This pic just doesn't do it justice. It is vaulted pretty much into outer space.



MMMM. My pretty kitchen. Jackson asked me the other day why I spend so much time in there. He didn't get it when I told him because I think it is so pretty.


Here's the masterbedroom. Yep, we are still unpacking!!

The boys are asleep, so I'll have to post pics of their rooms another day. Or better yet, come over and see for yourself! Anyone up for Thanksgiving at my house??